To change the things I can..
And the wisdom to know the difference
It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.
when you can walk right past themlike they were never a big part of your life
I want your heart broken
Some sign of emotion
I want to see the tears tumble down
Show me I meant something
It's so hard to get over something you lost cause why? Cause you lost it meaning you didn't win. And me, I analyze things way too much. But thats gonna stop. From now on, I jus goin go with the flow. Fo'get analyzation or wondering if relationships are too good to be true. I no like even bother with relationships. Flings are starting to make sense to me now. You don't need to worry about putting stress or effort into anything and you still get satisfaction and attention here and there. And probably everyone is well aware of that but shit I guess I'm old fashioned ahh and still believe that getting to know someone and put time into that relationship is frickin exciting and not a game. The world is corrupt bruh. But wateva, flings--das not me so fuck that option. On the real. Anyways this blog contains just thought on the matter. Cus it does pop into my head every once in a while. Can't say it doesnt. I mean we did have something. I mean I know I did. On about that...damn how do people get over things so fast? I really wanna know. I really do wonder if they do or they just put up a front when in reality they're hurting inside. For me, for sure...its hard to put up a front damn. Like forreal! I wish I had skills like everyone else who does so.
So anyways, I fell upon a quote today and it's so fucking true. Here it is.
It's amazing the things you realize when you lose someone: you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for granted the days spent doing nothing when you could have been with them. Anyone can be taken, at any time in our lives, but we always wait until they're gone to say the things we never had the courage to before.
On the reals brutha, I went through the "getting mad at myself for not saying things I coulda and doing nothing when I coulda done something" deal. This goes for not only him but auu my loved ones. Geez, I even tell myself "tomorrow isnt promised" but I hold back. Cause why!? Cause pride. It's like the fear to give youre all to someone with nothing in return. But thats a decision we need to face every now and then. Thats why loving is a risk I guess. But we only live once right? So we need to take that risk..then again..you don't wanna take too many risks where it becomes a habit and "loving" someone is more like habitual rather than sentimental, ya digg? Idk.
Another quote
Maybe some people just aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some people are just passing through. It's like some people just come through our lives to bring us something: a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn, and that's why they're here... you'll have that gift forever.
Now, Isn't that a great way of looking at things. Take those that hurt you as a lesson learned? We can always go back and repair relationships later, but for the time being, just frickinnnn...take the hurt and like the quote says, cherish it like a gift. Damn, like I once believed and am trying again to believe, Everything Happens For a Reason...some things we can control..some things we can't. And Some things we're not too sure if it was out of our hands or something that could've been changed. But whatever the case, that's where we try to remind ourselves that everything happens for a reason. I used to believe that so much until I figured...you can't just watch shit pass by in your life and be passive. Take some aggression and fight for what you want. Yadadamean? You can change what is to happen. But frick at the same time, I wanna believe that everything happens for a reason, and that after a storm comes a rainbow. In some lights its true, but I always end up contradicting myself. I confuse myself like WHOAH! Ha ha. Idk...I'm debating whether I should really let nature take its course or should I still try? Yes, I'm referring to a relationship like a dumb fuck posting this online! HA HA! But nah, it's like "Whatever happens happens.." but at the same time I don't wanna let anything slip away. But reading that quote I just saw is like..hmm that makes sense. Theres so many people out there. The scary thing is you dont know whos real or fake. but WATEVA. For now, I jus keeping myself busy going out here and there, trynna get in shape, reading NEW MOON..well sorta haha. Playing Call of Duty World at War like a pro ;] hahah not.
I'm probably gonna be coming back to this every now and then. Shoots
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